Monday, October 29, 2007

Epiphanous Moments

Wow, I've seemed to have a lot the last year. It's kind of cool, too, because in many ways, I've been ahead of the curve among women in my age group.

For example, an author (forgot the name, sorry) recently released a book that generated a ton of stir -- it seems that women who walk away from successful careers for the sake of their families (primarily to raise young children, actually) do so to their own detriment. The author said that, after conducting years of studies, she's discovered that women who do this are putting their families (and themselves) at risk. Have to say that my antennae went up at this one.

She said that this kind of decision creates resentment with the husband (he's the one working while the wife is viewed to be eating bonbons at home -- ha, if only). It creates financial stress on the relationship, which translates to fewer goodies for the kids (which makes them resent Mom). And, ultimately, when the hubby ditches the non-earning wife for a younger and more financially successful chickie, the self-sacrificing first wife is left in the lurch with no income, no career, kids who hate her for destroying their cushy lifestyle, blah blah blah.

Man alive, and here I thought I was doing a good thing by staying home so that a parent could raise our five-year-old child, rather than somebody making barely above minimum wage in a daycare.

I'd love to hear what others think of this line of thinking. As for us, yes -- it's created some financial concerns. And, yes, it's created some resentment from my husband, as my salary (when I had one) was almost 2.5 times what his is. But we've also seriously downsized (one car, not two; one house, not two households; etc.).

-- Elise